potty mouth

I hate raffles. Secretly I love them because I envision myself winning all sorts of fun stuff or them accidentally pulling my number twice so that I get the Starbucks gift cards AND the Trader Joe's bag o' goodies. But. In reality, I never win anything, so: I hate raffles, those teases. Last night at the Project READ Holiday Party, my learner and I were sitting there clutching our golden tickets waiting for our numbers, to no avail. So we sat and ruined our diets with giant pieces of peppermint bark and cookies. Meanwhile some kids next to us were claiming their winnings from the kids raffle and nearly coming to fisticuffs over the latest version of "Ripley's Believe It Or Not". After the whole thing, we made a restroom break before Nolan picked us up (cause he's pretty much amazing), and I made her take a picture of the reality of the Public Library's restrooms, in which I'm fairly certain at least 5 homeless people dwell, and of which the engineer should be fired. Not only are the doors too short, so that a person of my stature can easily peer out, but also it means people next to you can make eye contact with you while you're in your stall and events are taking place. Because across from the stalls are giant mirror-lined walls. Horror. I get stage-fright in public bathrooms anyway. Just look how awkward these stalls are, and imagine the giant mirrors where my learner is standing taking the picture:

Or is it more awkward that I had her take the picture, and we managed to also capture the head of the woman next to me?

The night before, Nolan helped me make gingerbread cookies with our cookie press for the party. On the box, it says gingerbread cookies work with the press, so I took that to mean that you can put gingerbread cookie dough in it, and use it. Apparently not. It's WAY too soft, even after hours of chilling, and comes out looking like your baby cousin's freshest diaper. We couldn't resist photo proof of this abomination, though I hesitate to post it just because it is, in fact, SO disgusting looking:

Sadly, when baked, these cookies weren't even photo-worthy because they turned from poop blobs on the sheet into perfectly round coin-shaped cookies. Round, delicious, and boring.

I also have to plug Ash U for her sweetest of all blogs this morning, because it made me feel emotional at work and NOTHING does that. Except my morning starbucks. Heh. We love you, Ash U!