Day # : too many

For someone who literally never gets sick, having Salmonella AND whatever-this-thing-is within a month period is a little harsh. Looks like my awesome immune system is like one of those 6-year-old kids at a swim meet who grabs onto the lane-line, panting, while their mother screams frantically at the other end to "keep going! it's only one lap!!!". Also, my nose is so chafed from wiping it, that whenever I stare at something head-on, I get distracted by pieces of dead skin sticking off of it. Gross.

Good news is, my abs are going to be fantastic from all this coughing.

Nolan's been very busy lately delivering babies (hooah!), so we've had to make due with leaving notes and sending texts to make sure the other is still alive. I remember him getting up at 4:30am a couple days ago, and I *think* kissing my head before he left, but it could have been a hallucination because let's face it, I'm not in my right mind anyway while drowsy (Holla, villains!), and that not counting the sick factor. I think that was the last time I saw him.

Milo has also been less affectionate of late, and I'm starting to think it's because he's been reading the Swine Flu updates on CNN while we're gone, and is getting suspicious...

germaphobe

Love is...

...finding it endearing that your spouse uses YOUR toothbrush instead of his own, and leaves it on the self-same counter along which Milo scoots his butt-hole every day.

sniff.

I can handle being sick to the stomach, not that I like it, I just mean I can handle it humanly. Insanely sore throat, dizziness and endless runny nose? I am going mad, and have already completely burned through several boxes of kleenex. I generally have a pretty strong immune system, but this weekend a friend sneezed IN MY MOUTH, and I don't think my body was meant to handle the 300 mph winds of someone else's mucus hurtling down my throat, without tossing up the white flag eventually. So I was sitting miserably at work all day, unable to focus, with kleenex hanging out my nose. See:

Obviously my immaturity is still in tact. I'm off to sit on the couch and watch Twilight commentary. Heh.

turd.

I know I get kind of desperate around Halloween, but seriously, I hope those creative juices flow at least once before October, or I could end up like this:

Forever immortalized as poo...poor thing.

I know I didn't post on Friday, per usuale, so for you OCD people, I'm sorry I threw off your rhythm. You have no idea how hard it would have been to type with a huge chunk of my thumb missing. Because I cut it off with scissors while trying to shred a credit card. After soaking through three band-aids, my doctor-husband's response last night was, "Hmm. That's definitely the muscle you can see poking through there. Too bad it's too late to get stitches." THANKS, babe. The encouragement is stifling.

Sometimes I will get little treasures like this from a coworker in my inbox:

...which is cute, but c'mon now.
(ps - N, see that picture? that one right there? THAT is what I want for my birthday.)

Weekends when I am up for singing at Cornerstone are draining, and man if I didn't have my buddy Starbucks in one corner and of course the nasty-smelling but fantastically-effective Caudalie spray, I wouldn't make it through today. Really, no matter how nice I'm sure Mary Engelbreit is, I don't want her essence pervading my pores...and that's probably why it wakes me up. "what? quilting? dust? redheaded children?"

Tiny Haaaaaands!

ylehsa apparently is going to be famous someday, because she did the world's first real cartoon of yours truly:

I miss your scent. haha.

Well, the concert was fan-tas-tic. Granted, I think we were all a little bit star-struck when La Britney came onstage ("omg! I just read about her in the news and there she is!"), but the actual production was amazing. Best concert I have been to, hands-down. The circus layout was impressive, and the dancers were phenomenal. Who knew contortionists could be graceful and gorgeous and not just bizarre and freaky. The show was the same caliber as Cirque du Soleil, and well worth the money paid for the tickets, if you ask me. I know, I'm surprised too. Though, I have to say, that the two most amazing things of the evening were by far that 1.) Sarah got punched in the ear by a drunk fan who was trying to start a brawl (seriously), and 2.) I paid $7 for a tiny glass of 2 Buck Chuck. Also, to our relief, Britney had better taste than to subject thousands of people to her infamously stupid ballad, "My Baby". I'm glad she loves her kids enough to write a song about them, but...it may be one of the stupidest songs of all time. Right up there with the "I Love College" song (who includes people chanting, "Freshman, Freshman!" in a song?!).
The only picture I got of the night was this:

...which upon further review, shows nothing but a lit up stage. Dangit.

Hit Me Baby, One More Time

Aside from the rather obvious titular implications of why my day is exciting, I have another reason:

It's administrative professionals day, and since I act as such for my department sometimes, my coworkers decided to show me their appreciation. Compared to another coworker who arrived at her desk this morning to find a dummy of an old woman (that we all just saw from the back and thought she was real) in her chair, slumped over her desk (pranked by another dept.), I think I made out pretty well. Flowers > fake old woman.

Also: BRITNEY SPEARS AND PCD TONIGHT! I'm glad I'm going with friends and not alone, otherwise I would never tell a living soul that I went to this concert. Haha.

2.

I think it's been sufficient time since I mourned moving away from Finger Condom Lady, to introduce her equivalent in my new neighbourhood. Enter: Lotto Squatter. He's this random guy, kind of nicely dressed, who each day at noon, squats down in our plaza outside over the top of a grate, and slowly scratches off every square on a lotto card. Every day. San Francisco, you are a cornucopia of people.

I also forgot to mention that yesterday was 4/20, and apparently it is a bigger deal in San Francisco than we realized, because driving to the ATT store was utter chaos. People weaving almost drunkenly through the streets (cars included), ESPECIALLY around the Haight (though that is certainly not a surprise, haha), lots of tye-dye, and most importantly of course: the smell. I mean, Earth Day in Davis was always bad...the air was so polluted with pot that I'm sure the cows were stoned. To this day I still cannot distinguish smells between incense and pot (call me sheltered), so when I rolled down the window while we drove through the Haight right by the park and inhaled deeply the aromatic incensed air, Nolan visibly rolled his eyes. I'm pretty sure I know why.

The Things We Learn

I love it when it's hot here in SF. I can wear a skirt to work without worrying if my legs will still have feeling when I get home. Also, the "hot city" smell reminds me of Europe, and I like that.

I almost forgot to mention my grand victory yesterday...my coworker and I had a type-off, and I beat him by 1wpm. That's right. I scored 91wpm with 100% accuracy my friends. I am a champion! Try the test here.

Also, this morning we learned a valuable lesson. That we cannot leave the windows in our bedroom fully open, because Milo WILL hear pigeons outside, and he WILL jump out of the window on the 3rd story and onto our neighbour's roof to chase them. Here's semi-proof, taken after the fact, before I closed the window and he started attacking my hand in rage:

ps-I took that picture with my iPhone...isn't it lovely?!

Mania

It's official:
Not only am I the proud owner of a new iPhone 3G, but I AM IN LOVE. with my phone. I will never part from it again. From the awesome layout and ease to the FANTASTIC apps and the amazing phone function...it was meant to be. Nolan and I have wasted our lives away tonight downloading apps and figuring out how this thing works. Excellent.

The only downside is that now I have to actually buy an alarm, so that I can powerdown my iPhone at night. Hmm.

Camping this weekend was fun, except for a couple things:
1.) I got a sunburn. It burrrrrns.
2.) I had no sleeping bag, and only one small blanket. Being in the same boat, Brandon and I both suffered through the coldest, most miserable night EVER complete with rocks underneath and a cold wind over us. Misery. Upside? We stuffed 6 guys and girls into a tent to keep warm (the other 4 were set), and I think I heard some of the most disturbing things ever. Downside: our BIBLE STUDY LEADER suggested (honestly) that the two of us who had no sleeping bags, sleep together for warmth. Nolan was murderous and thought I should freeze instead. Rightly so.

fail.

It's been one of those days where I visit the shredder a few times a day just because I love watching the teeth rip into a piece of paper. This is partly because I haven't eaten very much today, and I turn into a maniac when I am hungry (my blood-sugar levels are off, I offer no apologies). This, of course is because I was sick with a disgusting disease last weekend, and am still suffering the residuals. Like, weakness, and no appetite. Or at least, small appetite. Which doesn't mean my body isn't hungry...I just CANNOT force myself to ingest another container of yogurt when even that is sounding gross. Also: tonight before we leave for our camping trip, we're meeting at In-N-Out, and God bless you, In-N-Out, but the sound of your burgers and fries and your stench in my mind's nose (?) makes me want to barf already. On the other hand, maybe this will mean a new venture in my eating healthy plan. Which I have failed miserably at until this. Just this morning, I got a coffee and had to dump out half of it. I KNOW.

You know of my affinity for googling words and posting the first picture, but today, googling "inspirational" (what? I was in a nice mood) came up with crappy, crappy pictures. I dug around for awhile and found a better one:

Morning banter

Nolan: "Hey, what's that ooga chaka song called?"
Me: "Hhhh. Just search David Hasselhoff."

This weekend we are going camping in China Basin with our small group. Barring some unforeseen ridiculous event, it sounds like fun. Hot dogs, s'mores, tents, wearing the same clothes and not showering...smmmhhhh I love camping. Not to mention: we just got the Bang! expansion pack, JUST IN TIME...so there will be a lot o' that this weekend as well.

Quote o' the day:
Running to catch the muni, clutching his stethoscope and reflex hammer...
Nolan: "Oh noooo! I'm all jumbled down with toysss!"

One Day I Will Win An Oscar

So...I KNOW this has been all over the news, but in case you haven't seen THIS yet, please do. To use her own words: "Bloody Fantastic".

After the last few days here, I am solemnly vowing never to live in Chicago. Nothing makes me more irritable than wind.

Also, I have nothing more to write here, but if you're bored enough to be here, maybe you'll be bored enough to want to check these articles out. That is, if you're at all acquainted with the actress Bai Ling and / or are doing a study on crazy, possibly schizophrenic people. Check it out:

Nipples

Shiny diaper

oh, and how could I forget...her blog here.

Things That Shouldn't Be In Macaroni

Our bed is so comfortable, it's almost a curse. I was *this* close to killing Nolan when I was rudely awakened this morning by the covers being ripped off, the drapes tossed open, and a hard SPANK. Misery. You all know what I'm talkin about.

When he came home, he informed me that he had good news and bad news, and which did I want first. Bad, of course.
"Okay, bad news is that I found several toenails in a box of unopened Macaroni and Cheese. The GOOD news is that they are going to give us a refund! w00t!"

Quote of the Day:
Drunk guy on the Muni: "HEY!...don't ever. question.my.integrity."

Here, fishy fishy...

There is good and bad news. The good news? I have pictures to post of the apartment. The bad: you will find out gross things about me in this post, including an incident with a grape.

First, the pictures. Here is our lovely new apartment setup...the guest room, complete with its frequent inhabitant (I didn't bother to fix the darkness, because the flash made Milo look like a demon (he's hiding in the corner), and besides, guest rooms should be dark and comfortable anyway. Also, we don't have a lamp for that room yet.):

Next, the new office space:

Then, the new couch and tv:

And also the newish loveseat and bookshelf...but I'm not sure how I feel about this striped rug in the doorway. Thoughts?


Easter this year meant bowls o' barf and trying to fall asleep and not lose control of our bowels. At one point I even vomited up an entire grape. Skin and all. I mean of course, we celebrated the Resurrection...but I think I was asleep most of the day, because the 3 of us (possibly 4) had SALMONELLA. Yeah. So needless to say, we're avoiding raw Spinach for quite awhile. Although, when I came home, Nolan informed me that he had accidentally eaten some items that we had labeled "suspect" for the cause, and by the time he realized it, he gave half of one item to Miilo so that if he got sick, he would know which item was the culprit. Cruel being.

happy awesome fantastic Good...Friday.

I lied. I don't have pictures yet. I don't know where the camera is, and by gosh I am not taking pictures of our entire apartment with my Mac. So look for them on Monday (hopefully), and trust me, it's worth it. Ash U. got a little sneak peek that resulted in her taking a tv home, haha. So yes, there are that many changes. Be excited (even though it's not your house so you probably won't care).

Tonight we trek up to Placerville for the holiday weekend, and some quality time with family. Plenty of it. heh.

revamp

Well, I said I was getting a new couch, and did I ever. We spent hours upon hours last night moving around furniture, getting rid of crap (can you believe Nolan made me throw out my boxes of perfume samples from the 90s and my fake vampire teeth?), and generally revamping our apartment. This means we now have a guest bedroom, and a whole new setup and look for the living area. w00t w00t! Picture to come tonight or tomorrow :)

Mister Ed

You know when someone says something to you that makes you think, "umm, is that a compliment...?" I got two of those from a coworker today, starting with when I walked into the office: "Hey. You look very equestrian today." HHhhhh. Thanks, that is EXACTLY what I was aiming for.

...and then an email later saying just this:
"Omg. I just realized that you are Lindsay Lohan from Mean Girls." To which I replied:

Thanks, pal. I feel so secure now that I know I stand in your mind somewhere between pre-meltdown Lindsay Lohan and Mister Ed.


Tonight my in-laws come, so besides the fact that this means I am getting a new couch tonight (woooo!), and the fact that Nolan and I can't decide which old crappy one to get rid of, I know that within the next few days, there is a lot of Tuttimelon and ethnic food in my future. I'm also hoping that the gaping hole in my gum/cheek (Nolan found it when he examined my mouth last night...no WONDER it's been killing me!) will be gone by this weekend so that I can eat all.the cadbury. eggs. I. want. I have been brushing at it vigourously because I thought maybe it was because my gums didn't have enough bloodflow goin on, but no. Apparently I was just opening the abyss.

Hai.

Now that the wretched process has finally ended, I have to say that: jury duty isn't that bad. I mean, it was boring and all and messed up my life for a few weeks, but the deliberation process was both EXCITING and empowering. And fun; it was fun. You walk into a tiny room convinced that you are the minority in your opinions, and then find that 11 other people (in this case, at least) share those opinions, and also have pretty hilarious things to say about the process. Like the fact that we all tried to muffle laughter at one of the arguments presented. And that some of us noticed the elderly judge had actually fallen asleep during closing arguments. And that the whole front row of us was using little bottles of "5 hour energy" to stay awake during the trial. In fact...I kind of wish deliberation hadn't ended. That way we could stay there all day and share the doodles we all had in our notebooks of the witnesses. I could tell which ones the guy next to me didn't like, because they all seemed to take on Hitler-esque features in his doodles, and I had to stare at the ground several times to not laugh in the middle of cross-examination.

The weekend in Davis was fabulous. Not only was it warm and sunny (yes!), but it was just fun to have that much girl time again and do stupid stuff. Plus bridal showers are always so fun! When else would one get to blindfold friends, hand them a glittery pink "member" and tell them to go stick it on a cartoon man, and then celebrate with pomegranate martinis? Hmm?

We also did something not as superficial and watched Slumdog Millionaire, which, it turns out, is just as good (if not better) than reports say.

Nolan survived his trip, and returned with all limbs in tact. It is GOOD to be home with him again, and since it's been so sunny, our house was all hot when we came home. Milo was sprawled in the hallway panting, and I was able to wear shorts to bed for like, the first time ever here in SF. Excellent. Thank you, global warming.

Ode

I hate public transportation, but the Amtrak and BART are a-okay with me. Maybe because my suitcase was next to me the whole way and still smells like the plane we took on our honeymoon, or because it reminds me of the Hogwarts Express, haha, but either way, I am considering never driving ever again.

Also: Davis is pretty much the sum of all things good in this world. The clean, green town, the lovely-smelling air, the smallness and space....smmmmmhhhhh. As I was towing my suitcase to campus from the Amtrak station, I realized that there is just no place better (especially in the Spring), than Davis.

...and I fulfilled my fantasy of going back to the CoHo and having my chicken taco and iced white mocha. Probably for the last time ever :(


Nolan, consider this a hint.

Rogue

Today in my email, I received this:

If you can't tell, the circled area depicts a rogue sperm that escaped into my friend's art class in the form of a sculpture. Thanks, El Dorado County.

I have also discovered the joys of flightsfromhell.com, in which people tell the BEST stories you will ever hear about flight experiences. As someone who enjoys flights and everything related (food, airports, smells, etc.), most likely because every relative I have is involved in the aviation industry, I can only relate to parts of these. But still: excellent.

I have also decided that Dell computers absolutely suck and make me want to die. Every time I am forced to use one, and have to reboot time and time again...ugh. And no, I didn't get the Conficker.d. I checked :)

Good thing I have a watch-cat.

Originally, tonight I was headed to a book signing with the author of dooce.com and the book "It sucked, and then I cried". But...things don't always pan out the way they should, and so here I sit, letting Milo lick up the remains of my raviolis and blogging. Which might not be so bad, since as Nolan pointed out, "dude, who wants to drive that far to have someone sign their blog"...because obviously a BOOK signing is all about BLOGS.

Nolan officially left today for his motorcycle trip with my dad, and as long as he doesn't come home in a box anytime soon, I have the house to myself for awhile! Partay! Or...going to bed early. Eh. This also means I don't have to stock my fridge, since I have been known to survive on toast and jam for weeks at a time.




HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my sister (in-law)! Don't do anything I wouldn't do...which is probably the worst advice I have ever given.