white america

Things like THIS are where people get American stereotypes. No wonder the rest of the world hates us.

Today was one of those backwards, anti-productive days. Like, I went to the gym and ate healthy...but then I also had starbucks 3 TIMES, just because I was that tired. I got a ton done at work and felt very productive, and am at this moment babysitting...but then again when I get home I know I have loads of unfolded laundry to put away and not a clean drinking glass to be found. See what I mean? Tomorrow's a new day, and I cannot wait until jury duty is over and life is back to normal (mostly).

I also can't believe that taking amtrak to Davis this weekend will cost me more than 40 bucks, when I could drive there on a quarter tank, IF that. What a crock.

I'm at the point with my tutoring where I just can't wait to be matched with a learner. We are waiting for a match, and apparently it could take a few weeks, or even more if there isn't someone just right out there right now. I appreciate the extra effort put towards matching, but dudes, I am ready NOW.

Nolan and I have been looking into new technology. Apparently being under 25 and not having a smart phone of some kind is some form of blasphemy here, so we're deciding on his and hers upgrades. He's going towards le iPhone, as I migrate to the Blackberry world. Of course we have totally different needs from our devices, so our choices reflect those, but I'm hoping that just by him having a qwerty keypad on whatever he ends up getting, I will stop getting text messages from him like, "food worry" or "ill be good at 9" or my personal favourite: "some rednecks are asking long questions". Oh wait, that one isn't a T9 typo...

pee in a pod

Apparently Milo either was not holding his bladder for 40 hours while we trained him, or was very angry at us at some point, because he destroyed several hundred dollars worth of medical books with his bodily fluids/solids, and Nolan discovered the little treasures today. A lot of things have been happening lately that haven't been so great, but now it's just starting to feel like crap is happening (no pun intended) just because it can. Nolan's method of dealing with this is to cocoon himself in our sheets until I take pity on his pouting and coax him out. Like so:

For a brief second we contemplated giving Milo away, until he ran past, threw a ball of paper in the air, caught it with his teeth, then darted into the bedroom with it, tail in air. We guess we'll keep him :)

dome-tastic

I just don't have a ton to say while on Jury Duty. That could be because I am not allowed to say anything...also because the day is pretty boring. Either way, the only interesting thing I have done so far today, was to meet Nolan and Brandon during lunch and take a tour of City Hall (which is beautiful!), and then go to an Indian buffet, before trudging back to the courthouse, boo.

Interesting fact of the day: the dome on San Francisco's City Hall is the 5th largest dome in the world, and the largest in our country. As you know, no state capitol can build a dome bigger than the one on the National Capitol. As you also know, San Francisco is technically not a state capitol (though I believe it was for a very short time), and dearly loves to give the proverbial middle finger to "The Man" in any way possible. Hence, our dome that is just a fraction bigger than the Capitol's. Heh. Behold:


Tomorrow I have duty til noon, then to work til 3:30, then up to Placerville to meet up with ylehsa and take Nolan to his motorcycle class. Watch out, he'll have his license by Sunday. Now we just have to work on getting him an actual bike...or maybe that should wait until after he goes on this trip. If they make it back alive. Hmm.

the epitome of a good wife...

...is me, because I got up at 6am this morning JUST because Nolan wanted someone to be up with him while he ate and got ready to leave for his test. Needless to say, I will be patronizing Starbucks again today.

Also, I CANNOT wait for the next few weekends. First: weekend with ylehsa at home and bingeing on all things Twilight/Coffee/Yarn/Jane Austen. w00t! Next, weekend in Davis for a bridal shower and hanging with the girls! Then, Easter. There will be Peeps. Need I say more.

going with the guts

Well, the experiment has been aborted. Milo is back, safe and sound, to using his sandbox. After almost 40 hours of him "holding it", we decided that if he really had that much will power, we'd let him win. Okay not really, actually it was because he hadn't gone for 40 hours (this from a cat who goes like, twice an hour), and I felt his little hernia on his stomach, and it was all hard and bulged out from the internal pressure (aka he was all clogged up and it was pushing out his hernia), so we felt terrible, and conceded. We put out the box again and he DOVE inside in relief. Ah well, thanks Mom, it was a fun experiment while it lasted.

Today is NOLAN'S BIRTHDAY, so you know, send him a facebook message or something, because who doesn't want to get a zillion of those on their wall on their big day (sarcasm). He told me how specifically he does not want any party or anything, so other than making him all his favourite foods and giving him presents and a nice massage, etc., our plans are to watch "Kings" tonight (amazing if you haven't seen it on NBC on Sunday nights), and relax. His test is this week, so he is trying to do a lot of relaxing to prep for the solid day of hell awaiting him.

step 3

Today I went to go do the laundry at the laundromat, and the entire time, there was this clinking, construction noise coming from the back room. This is a traditional laundromat, and they're trying to update it to make it more "desirable" to...I don't know, hang out in? I mean, they're putting in snack machines, soda machines, offering more services, etc. Even the hookah shop that's awkwardly built into the side of it is trying to entice more customers. From the evidence I saw in the back today, I'm not sure what type of customer they're looking to attract, but judging from the fake bronze statues and torches and mini altar, I'm 99% sure they are erecting a full-blown Chinese temple in the storage room today. All of a sudden my laundry days are looking a lot more exciting.

Milo has officially moved on to step 3 today in his training. I punched out the first hole in the middle and he is HORRIFIED. Like, he has been holding it all day, just to avoid THE HOLE. He has spent most of the day so far doing this:

Although he has actually jumped up onto the rim a few times, rigidly holding his tail straight out so that it doesn't come near THE HOLE...and once I even poked it through to show him that it was safe and he could relieve his tiny little bladder/brain from all the stress, but apparently he forgot that his tail is connected to his butt, and while he was intently staring at his tail halfway in there, as soon as it popped back out of THE HOLE, he fell off of the toilet in shock, and immediately began attacking/gnawing on his tail. Maybe I should have punched out only half the hole. Apparently this is too much for him to process.

Also, Nolan received his motorcycle gear today in prep for his crazy trip with my dad. Heh. Two big boxes and a lot of ripping and tearing later, here is the final product (sans gloves):

So Long, Joe

I often feel a little envious of men's clothing. Their comfy shoes, their easy slacks, the fun ties. I would love to wear a different tie each day. Also their bagless-ness. I would LOVE to just shove my wallet, keys, and phone into my pocket and go. Not to mention the way comfy boxers, and the loose jeans and t-shirts, and the long shorts, and SERIOUSLY: the easy short hair. If I cut my hair that short I'd look ridiculous. No, instead I am faced with (albeit better than a century ago) stiff heels, tight pants, big purses, constricting dresses, frizzy and untameable hair, NYLONS FOR GOD'S SAKE, uncomfy and impractical underwear, and above all else, by far the worst part of my day when I put it on and fasten the cold, metal hooks against my skin in the morning: THE BRA. Need I say more.

I think the honeymoon is over between me and Trader Joe's. It just...started going south, between the colour-turning/funny-tasting cheese, and the moldy raviolis I had to return yesterday. Also their selection is too small. I may go back for meat sometimes, but other than that and being my Oregon Chai lifeline, I think it's Splitsville. Sorry Joe.

smmmmmhhhh. memories.

You know how some things trigger memories by smell alone? Like, when I smell cherry/strawberry chapstick brand chapstick, I think of my dad and how he used to take me to breakfast in his convertible when I was 5, before anyone else was awake. When I smell Victoria's Secret "heavenly" perfume, I think of the first cabin we stayed in on our honeymoon, because that is the only perfume I brought with me. When I smell frangipanis (flowers), I remember my 6th birthday in Hawaii and how we bought frangipani scented lotion and went to the Dole factory. This morning I was walking down the street to my starbucks, and smelled that mixture of the hot steam from the street vents and cigarettes, and all I could think about was airports and every trip I have ever taken, and how much. I want. to go somewhere. Smmmmmhhhhh.

Everything in Moderation

This weekend I dragged Ash U. with me to Target to look at slipcovers for our loveseat. Rumour has it that we are getting an awesome new couch sometime relatively soon, and that put me in the mood to once and for all vanquish all traces of colours that don't match in our living room. Like...blue. I have never really liked blue. I am more of a browns and creams in my living room kind of person. And so naturally, when I, by marriage, inherited this:

...I began plotting. The problem is two-fold:
a.) Nolan loves blue and protests that he loves the way the living room looks already.
b.) loveseat slipcovers are a pretty penny, and if we are going to buy new furniture in like, 2 years anyway, why bother.
You see the problem. Of course a.) is the main issue. So instead of a matching, warm-coloured living room, I will now have an unmatching, who-knows-what-happened-to-this-loveseat-in-college piece of furniture. And because he made an excellent point with b.), my spirit crumbled to my duty of wifely submission. And common sense.

It's a big day. Not only do I have one picture, but TWO for you. Milo began step 2 officially today. That means, yes...toilet seat ON the toilet. No more litter box! And since the new litter is made of corn, combined with the fact that they recommend sprinkling catnip all over it the first time, we ran into a bit of an issue when I introduced Milo to his new throne, and he immediately commenced with EATING HIS LITTER, and then looked at me while inhaling giant mouthfuls of corn-litter like, "FOOOOD MORE FOOD EVEN THOUGH IT LOOKS LIKE LITTER FOOOOOOD". This was in issue until I sprinkled some of his acidic, NOT nice-tasting old litter over the top of that, and then he practically barfed out the corn-litter in realization of what he had been doing. "Ohhhh. This is not food. This is for poop."

Other than the fact that when USED, the new litter smells distinctly like corn flakes, I'd say so far it's a success.

ps-I just checked and he has already used it (as intended). Clever boy.

civic duty

This week should be interesting. I had jury duty starting today, and still am waiting to find out if I have been selected or not. Right now it's looking like I will be...which isn't a terrible thing. I mean, sure I may get a little behind with work and that makes me panicky, but on the other hand, how INTERESTING is the trial process?! Other than listen to people ramble about why they should not be picked, I'd say I am pretty excited about going back tomorrow. That, and the people-watching there is fantastic. This includes the court reporter, who looks astonishingly like (Dame) Judi Dench, and it makes me zone out sometimes and think about how creepy she was in "Notes On A Scandal". And how she equally impresses/scares the poop out of me. Hmm.

This weekend, we also started Milo's toilet-training, and the reason I have no pictures is because I refuse to post pictures of his litterbox and our toilet. Equally disgusting. Apparently, "step 1" is just getting him used to the environment, which means we are sharing our bathroom...with his. For about a week. Needless to say, Nolan is not happy about sharing, and has already threatened Milo that if there are any "accidents" in there, he (Nolan) will take the liberty of using Milo's box as retribution. Odd, because I would never consider peeing in a litter box to teach my cat a lesson.

The air horn is probably not the best method

Okay, I vow to write more tomorrow, because seriously I have been at work more today than I spent sleeping in the last two days, and that's just sad. So, I will say, that I found the following little treasure courtesy of my coworker, who taped them all over our cubes today in honour of our other coworker who had her baby last night...2 hours after she left the office, hahaha! Enjoy:



Find more of these "baby dos and don'ts" here:
Baby Instructions

so I guess this is reality

I have been at work since 7:30. It is now almost 5, and I have almost an hour to burn until I have to be at the Civic Center Library for my Project READ training. So...mall, here I come. What a long, busy day. I am already stacking projects for tomorrow. blech.

Also, out of desperation and the fact that I a.) didn't want to spend a lot on lunch b.) had no appetite and c.) didn't want to walk far because my heels hurt, I went to walgreens and stocked up on pb&j supplies to last me two weeks. When nothing else hits the spot, I guess you remember that Mom really did know best. Who doesn't like pb&js?

See, and I had this list of stuff to blog about today, and yet find myself only thinking about the fact that I have been to Starbucks twice today (I feel like our fish...just trying to stay afloat, and caffeine is my poison), my iPod battery is dying, my calendar is so full I have to juggle things around and actually missed an important appt yesterday morning, my LOWER abs hurt (unusual) from my workout with the trainer last night, and just because he is a demon from hell, I'm sure Milo will have (by the time I get home after 9pm) either have:
a.) spilled g00g's food all over the futon. again.
b.) left a little piece of poo in my computer chair. again.
c.) eaten the leftover rice from last night that I am planning on having when I get home...again.


All in all, a good day.

peanut butter and jelly: a love story

Last night, while in bed, I vehemently defended my belief that every child had read, at one time or another, the poem "The Walrus and the Carpenter", while Nolan argued that he had most definitely NOT ever read it, and that every child is taught the Lewis electron dot system (which is true), and that I SHOULD remember it. Because of COURSE, that is something I use in my day-to-day life. So today I sent him a copy of the Walrus and the Carpenter, fully expecting either no response or something along the lines of, "OH! I just didn't recognize the part you quoted last night!". Nope. Instead he replies only with this link:

http://www.iun.edu/~cpanhd/C101webnotes/chemical-bond/lewis-electron-dot.html

...and then I realize that my Lewis Carroll is Nolan's Lewis electron dot system...and that apparently opposites do attract.

just because I feel like it...

THIS is why these two are my best friends:

ylehsa (via text): "Omg i just had an apple edward moment only it was yogurt and i didn't catch it"

(this morning...)
Me: "Time to wake uuupppp!!!"
Nolan: "hghghhghckck. Pick me up and drop me off at the coffee."


Also: today is N's last day of class EVAR! Hooray!!!

far and away

Oh Amazon.com, how I love/hate thee. First you get me my Twilight calendar on time; I love you. Then I tear open the box and see that it is actually a 2010 calendar, not a 2009 one; I hate you. Then you deliver my FANTASTIC crocs to me 4 days early and I AM SO HAPPY because they are even better in real life; I love thee. Then you tell me my “Bang” expansion set for Nolan actually is on backorder so don’t expect it anytime soon, and I cry and sob and say, “but AMAZON! We are hosting a game night this weekend and NEED that expansion!”; I hate thee. However, my emotions are fickle…so get me that expansion on time, and throw in free shipping and I’ll be yours forever.

I also got two new albums this weekend and if you haven't heard them, I would strongly recommend investing time in listening to Radiohead's "In Rainbows" album and Kings of Leon...in general. I actually just can't remember the album name, but the one that has "Closer" on it. Good.Deal.

la duff

I am now the proud owner of many new albums, including Hilary Duff's new hoochy one. Oh, the shame. Finding all this new music on the gym's stations is corrupting me.

Tonight I am getting ready to go to bed...now, since I am EXHAUSTED from this past week. Too much to do, too little sleep...and my body is tired from the gym, while my eyes are tired from looking at screens (hello, screen), and my mind is tired from learning and doing so many new things. Ayy.

Packages are like, the highlight of my week. Even if I am expecting them. Like...I ordered 4 different things from Amazon this past week, but at different times, so they are being delivered separately. I know, kind of a waste...but at least now I get the surprise of a package a day! Nolan is getting BANG! and the expansion pack for it as a pre-birthday present. I ordered myself the Twilight calendar for my cube (what else) and also a cute pair of Crocs that I can wear to work and NO, THAT BIT ABOUT THE CROCS DOES NOT CONTRADICT ITSELF. See for yourself:


Milo will start his "training" sometime this week...but as for tonight, yeah I just really can't even function anymore.

felt vampire womb?

On the same twilight note from last night and being in a weird funk after watching a MESSED UP movie with Ash U.--"He loves me, he loves me not" with Audrey Tautou, I decided I would post something that makes me feel NORMAL. Seriously, who does this:


Along those same "wtf" lines, I think there are better ways of protesting out there. Or of getting a raise and better benefits. Like...finding a better job. I KNOW, the economy sucks, but, I think THIS is a little extreme.

I also have to say: I had my first official training session with my PT last night (the others have been "consults"), and I have never gone through two sweat towels like that before in my life. I was vacillating between feeling really productive and strong and wanting to cry. I also am pretty sure I sweated out every ounce of liquid in my body...and don't think I have been to the bathroom since. Huh.

I love conference calls and call-in meetings. You can be IN a meeting, but have the freedom and privacy to do otherwise non-meeting-appropriate things. Like...yawn loudly, and close your eyes, and take off your shoes. Hah. I get dry-mouth just thinking about doing that in front of the people in the live meetings.

Shout-out to ylehsa, who just got accepted into a VERY prestigious art school! what what!

something in the water

Water. Lots of it. I am practically wading through the second flood to get to my office on Mt. Ararat each day.

They are selling TWILIGHT candy at blockbuster...haha see:



As promised, today we received (thanks, Ash U. for being my Vanna White):

A toilet-training set for Milo! Pretty soon he will be a big boy and learn to use the john like the rest of us. Photo documentation to come ;)

...and I need to say HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to my wonderful parents on their 25th anniversary!...(i texted my mom earlier "happy anniversary" to which she replied by text, "yes! 25 long years." hahaha. Thank you guys for being an awesome example of what marriage can be like.

pahhhdon, i seem to have lost my luggage

Good news: Airlines lost 1.3 million bags LESS last year than the previous year. Hurrah. Bad news: this REALLY puts the odds of losing your luggage into perspective. Travel light, kids.

I've fallen into the virtual abyss--I have been SUCH a loser lately that I have been living through my facebook profile/blogs instead of actually hanging out with people, all the while feigning exhaustion from the new job (but we know that is past), so this week I am changing that. Hopefully. I mean if you guys still want me <3

I also had another couple of breakthroughs recently. One being that Oregon Chai concentrate mixed with milk happily substitutes for my white mochas in the mornings, and saves me almost 300 calories/lots of grams of sugar/money/addiction status per day. I will be bringing it in my sparkly pink mug (thanks, Nolan!), ready to save my day, every morning to work from now on. Another thing I realized, on a TOTALLY unrelated and different note, is that I need to do something with my life. Like...I care about illiteracy and think it is the saddest thing in the world that adults cannot read. You are almost helpless nowadays if you cannot read! So, I am going to do something about it. Someday I will announce what that is, but for now I have my own ideas in my head, and just thought I would put that out there. I care. So there.

Tomorrow I will be unveiling Milo's new project (be prepared)...YES my mother bought a project for Milo and Nolan and I to work on together, and I know that sounds really shady right now but trust me. Tomorrow. It will be worth it.

appetizer: flowers

This look clearly says to me, "leave me the F#$% alone."

Ever since the rain has come back to the city, flowers and little splashes of colour have been sprouting up everywhere. So much so that I, who loves flowers, have been stopping into little flower shops lately and deciding if it is worth buying a little potted friend. Of course, the answer is always "no" because firstly I have a black thumb (it's inherited) and will kill any plant, guaranteed, within 4-6 weeks. Secondly, Milo eats flowers...and occasionally even leafy plants. All that time we lived in the Villa (our apartment in Davis), and we thought our plants were just dying or something, but no: we found a flower-less bouquet that one of us had received, sitting in its vase still, almost untouched except for the lack of blooms...and Milo sitting nearby, giving us a look that was supposed to say, "Wow. Look at that. Your flowers just...disappeared!", but not realizing he hadn't wiped his filthy little pie-hole, and there was a single mutilated petal clinging to his whiskers (sorry Noemma). Nolan didn't know this quality/flaw about the creature when we first moved here, and brought me some daffodils he had picked/stolen from someone's yard...only to find a gnawed-on petal remaining by the time I got home from work. Hhhhh. So: as long as this beast lives, I can never have flowers.

Last night, the Longs came over to play Settlers and have wine and angel food cake and of course pepperidge farm cookies. I mean it's implied that the Caldwells dominated ;), but: the company was fantastic and that is what the focus of this statement should be. Not our victory. Heh. Also I think things would have been different if Nolan hadn't royally screwed up the last game for Natalie (she did a good job controlling herself but I think it was getting close to blood-shed in Catan).

Yesterday I went to Trader Joe's for the first time in my life (I KNOW), and it was fantastic. Not only did I stock up on Oregon Chai mix, but I got a bunch of random foodie things that Nolan is already eyeing excitedly. While there, I stopped by Borders next door and got some stupid stuff for my desk. Everyone keeps telling me my cube looks uninhabited, to which I say, "I KNOW. HHHH." So I thought I'd spice it up with some colour...pink mainly :) So they are cute, but they are also stupid and I can't believe I paid for such things.
Like a little sparkly pink ball for which I have no purpose:

And some little magnets:

And you know, some other stuff like a flowery pencil sharpener and a purple paper-holder, but seriously, how DEPRESSING is that.