publicity

"As a result of spending so much time in the dungeon, Milo's normally white coat is now a "dirty blond". I think he enjoys being here with only a thin pane of glass between him and where the wild things are. He seems content to look warily out at where the wild things are knowing that if that 1/8" of glass were not there, the result would be certain death."
-another blackberry message from my dad, fond of his new-found blog-fame (just kidding, pop!)

I cannot believe I chose sleep this morning over leaving work at a normal time. Fridays certainly drag on, especially when you are the last one in the office. Tomorrow is a friend's wedding, and I'm already planning on when the best time to shave my legs will be, because in San Francisco, you need to do it early enough before your event that you won't have razor burn, but close enough to the event that your legs won't grow it all out again due to the freezing butt cold weather. My life is so complicated.

For Sale

We left Milo up in Placerville with my parents for two weeks when we left last weekend, because the brat wouldn't come out from under the house. I don't think he thought we would actually leave him there. So though we miss him, we're enjoying some peace and quiet in the mornings when we wake up, and enjoying our dinners free of greasy little paws trying to snatch the tomatoes from our salads or the little mouth chewing on sockets...


However, I'm just hoping he doesn't wear out his welcome up there, as he will be needing a place to stay for a couple weeks in October, when we're gone (details to come!). Sounds like he's already walking on thin ice, as this was waiting for me in my inbox this morning from my dad, obviously on his way to work:

"For Sale:
Cat- to good home....or bad. I don't really care. He is young, frisky and stupid and does'nt have a natural instinct in his body. He poos where he wants; Comes to no one; Is self centered. Name is milo but you can call him whatever you like since he is ignorant and doesn't know his name. On second thought, I'll pay to get rid of him.
--------------------------
Sent using BlackBerry"

out of nowhere

Sometimes I go browsing the aisles of Walgreens for lunch and come back with little treasures...like this Saag Paneer that I prepared in the microwave, and ended up being insanely tasty and healthy. Who knew?

corny

Last night I decided to get corn-on-the-cob for dinner, which was delicious, but while at the market, I picked up some cornish game hens to prepare too. I have always kind of picture cornish hens as like, maybe what an Earl would have eaten in England in the 1800s, but after preparing it, it looks AND tastes like a midget chicken. Though next time, I think I will stuff it with a whole garlic clove instead of minced garlic, because when the juices ran out of the cavity, it looked like our hens were pooping little minced garlic turds. Made 'em hard to finish eating after that.

Our office has been ridiculously cold lately, and my functional capacity has decreased by about 50%, until I go outside and thaw out for a bit. Or even walk around the corner, since my cube is in the corner of the floor fondly called, "the freezer".

This weekend I tried a new kind of lotion. Partly, I have to admit, I was attracted to it because it was oil-like, and I knew I would be in the sun and needed oil to help me tan better. But partly, it sounded so interesting, that I was just curious:

It really does give my skin kind of a glow because it just looks so moisturized, and since it is a gel mostly, it isn't really oily except at first when you put it on. I don't usually just go off recommending stuff unless I really like it, and this...I really.like.

motocicleta!

It's finally happened:

...my husband now owns his own motorcycle. Which means that I get to ride around on the back until someday I get my own! For now, I am waiting patiently for my helmet and jacket to come in the mail (w00t!), and we are using every possible opportunity to take his motorcycle places. Need something at the store? We'll get it. Church bbq? We're in. For the first time ever, Nolan has been bugging me all afternoon about when can we go to Starbucks? Can we go yet? and I am thinking that I could REALLY get used to this. We also are in the process of making another exciting purchase, but I'll wait to post about that until I have more details...

Being up in Placerville for the weekend has been so phenomenal. Not only is the weather lovely enough to bake me to a crisp (yes!), but we've spent hours relaxing by the pool, spending time playing games with family, and even seeing friends:

We went to Jennie's bridal shower, and lo and behold: 4 of the 5 original VILLAins were there (roomies from college...we lived in the Villa and thought Villains was a clever name, since there are only 3 musketeers afterall). Cindus was there in spirit I'm sure, but she sucks and is overseas in a foreign paradise while we're here sweltering in the heat of the Sierra Nevada foothills. Blech.

Another big thing that happened this weekend:

My littlest brother graduated from high school. Man, he's still 6 years old in my head, and yet in a few months he leaves for college. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE. One of these days I am going to wake up to Nolan adjusting my bedpan while I look in the mirror and realize I resemble the cryptkeeper. SOB.

Three Wolf Moon

Thanks to gchat statuses, I found this today, talking about the disappointment of a customer in his new Three Wolf Moon shirt, and how he thinks maybe some of the benefits are exaggerated. Things like not being approached by a supermodel while wearing it, and also that he was mistaken for somebody else while wearing it. I think my favourite part was this, though:

"...Similarly, I have not been invited to a vision quest, even though I wore my wolf shirt in New Mexico.

There is one thing, though, and that is that whenever I wear the wolf shirt I have a lot less issues with involuntary urination. I have not studied it long enough, however, to establish a cause/effect relationship."

Fascinating.


I love the sun. I love warmth and getting tanned and swimming and wearing sundresses and flip flops...I cannot wait for this weekend! Time to get away from the fog before I start dreaming about living in Antarctica.

Speaking of dreams, I had a doozie last night. I was living in a cabin with all my friends and family in their own cabins (Nolan and I slept in a bunk-bed in my dream, isn't that fantastic!). I had to hop the fence to catch the muni, and every time I jumped that fence, this giant bear-thing would chase me until I jumped on the muni, and wiped my brow and thought "that was a close one". Eventually, I hopped the fence, and the thing chasing me was Milo. So one morning (I mean, in my dream), I rolled out of my top bunk, and Milo was creeping into our camp, and I tried to poison him to protect everyone, but then felt bad because I love Milo! and then made him vomit up the Indian charms I had given him to poison him. "Throw up the mother charm, Milo!"
Unsurprisingly, I told this dream very enthusiasitically to Nolan this morning, who walked away when I got to the part where I stick my finger down Milo's throat to make him vomit.

misled by the CIA

"D (coworker): did you see my childhood picture yet?
A: no! do you want me to see it that badly, haha?
D: i mean, it's pretty much the only thing i care about in the world right now
D: every second you don't see it is like being waterboarded"

zoo

That is about what my life feels like this week. Because I don't blog about work, I won't explain, but let me just say it's been ri-DIC-ulously busy. I need a weekend.

My fingers are slowly recovering from spilling hot wax on them earlier (and all over the fridge and microwave, but shhhh don't tell Nolan--I cleaned it up already! Don't ask...), and helping Ash M. highlight her hair while wearing only one glove. So the chemicals pretty much are gnawing away at my flesh, and it's an odd feeling, between the wax burns and the chemical burns. Hhhh. I hope your hair turns out better than my fingers.

Ever since we turned the office into a guest room, Milo has made it his room, so as for my friend who is visiting this weekend (while we're gone, incidentally), I hope you don't find any little treasures. He's scuttling around under the covers as I write this, and after finding poo in the bathtub, I don't know what to expect.

This will be a short one. I need to go to bed and try to keep myself warm tonight since Nolan is on call at the hospital in the OB/GYN ward, busily sending me texts all night, all of which have been variations of "this sucks i am bored nobody is in labor"

100!

This marks the 100th post in this particular blog...which in reality is no special number, since I only recently relocated sites. So, whatever, it made for an easy title, and THOSE are not easy to just be creative about every day. Sometimes I get so desperate for innovation and creativity in my titles, that I google whatever I can get my sweaty hands on. As you can see, it ranges from pictures of dead kermit puppets to numbers that, let's just be honest, don't mean anything.

Other than Milo laying some little turds in the bathtub on Saturday morning, the weekend was a hot, glorious, event. Not only do I now have the beginnings of a tan (yes!), but I also got to see old friends, help out with wedding stuff, and brush up on my Warcraft 3 skillz. Speaking of which, let me just say that I PWNED every game this weekend, except for the one I thought I would use to show-off to Nolan. He dominated my weakling Hero with no apologies.

Today we hosted a blood drive here, and I donated a pint of myself for the greater good. I wore dark purple, because I have been squirted before, and I think walking around with a blood-stained shirt in a Corporate office would be just a little macabre on any day other than Halloween. And even then.

Something I am not liking about the residual-weekend I have going on, is the slight burn I got on my chest. Yes, right between the...right down the sternum. So every 30 seconds I am itching my chest in awkward places, and reaching down my shirt like I'm about to whip out a magical coloured scarf from my cleavage and wave it at the security cameras that are no doubt fixed on me and my circus antics here. This is one of those moments in which the concept of The Truman Show is too scary for me to handle.

Speaking of scary, I read that budding young (and old) entrepreneurs out there are now capitalizing on death online. I guess it is one of the last frontiers to be canvassed fully online, but...really? On the otherhand, I guess if people are interested, why not? And I can see how it would be good for someone who has massive assets totally stored online. This is a new era, folks. Maybe I should look into a Legacy Locker for myself, just in case Nolan wants to poke someone back from my Facebook account on the event of my death.

On the topic of memories...

Since we revisited college a bit yesterday, I thought we'd take another final glance at my life 2+ years ago, when the Villa was alive and well in Davis. Besides surviving on cereal, I usually also supplemented my appetite with one of Jennie's creations. I swear to you that this woman baked at least 1 cake or batch of cookies a day. It was SO hard to stay in shape :( Here we have our culprit in action:

Also, she told me that her British friends simply cannot comprehend why we would refer to each other as "ho", when it is clearly SUCH a derogatory and offensive term...ho!


Speaking of forgotten things from college: apparently I forgot to wash my bucket o' hats and scarves that Milo had peed in, because I wore a beanie last night on my walk with Nolan, and every time the wind blew, I caught a whiff of...something nasty. I guess just wearing a hat full of moldy old piss for an hour really had an effect, because this morning Nolan kissed the top of my head, and said, "Whoa. That piss smell really stuck. Still there." and then sprayed perfume all over my hair to mask the stench. Sigh.

On a brighter note, Brystal and Chelsea are coming for the weekend to visit, and it is actually supposed to be sunny! So yes...maybe I will break my vow to not sit in the sun, because I am starting to resemble the Cullens more than I should :( Also, Bay to Breakers is this Sunday, and maybe I will get out and take pictures, or maybe we will hide indoors to avert our eyes from the random naked people, stench of vomit/beer, and mass chaos. Maybe.

tv star!

My coworker asked me what kind of litter I use, and I gave him a glowing review of my litter, which he googled, and found my online review I had given and forgotten about in like, 2006 or something. In my pajamas, on the floor of my room. In case anybody is actually interested in seeing traumatic footage, here is the link to all the reviews I did, and my coworker now won't let me forget. Equally excellent, is this "review" that Nolan and Molnar gave together about...Jackass 2, of all things. I love that Nolan is eating and totally uninterested.

Also, just a little morsel; a glimpse into my daily life. Notice two things here:

1. I am child-size when I wear flats.
2. The iPhone was against my face when I took this. So obviously this is baby-making proximity with the other passengers. Especially un-cool when the person in front of you can't control their gas, and you are left to claw the window behind you, trying frantically to escape or even just breathe.

It Ain't Easy Being Green

Mass hysteria seems to be a specialty of Americans. For instance, the SARS panic, and now Swine Flu? Obviously nobody wants to get sick, but now here we are a couple weeks later, thriving still...and apparently at the stages where it is appropriate to send mass emails at work out with this:

Which I received in my inbox, explaining that swine flu actually IS transmitted by pigs ;) And while I googled "dead kermit" to find a link I could actually use, I also came across this, which I am going to add as a link instead of a picture, mostly because I coughed up a piece of croissant when I saw it. *caution: photo is risqué* Hello, Muppet Superbowl XXXVIII. Also, this one popped up, and I have no reason to add it other than I wonder who made it and in what universe, because I'm sure Jim Hensen never gave out free kermit puppets, specifically to prevent abuse like this. Wise choice, Hensen, because I would go crazy if I had my very.own.kermit puppet.

After testing them out for two months, I have officially decided that every pair of shoes I ever buy ever again will be Crocs. Mostly because of the comfort level. This was reinforced when I went to the website this morning, and added 4 pairs and tentatively 2 others in my cart :( Fortunately, my conscience is still alive somewhere and I didn't click "order". Because how embarrassing would it be to have that many pairs of Crocs delivered to my desk.

Nolan is still hunting for a motorcycle, but we are hoping to get one asap! I mostly am excited because then I can ride on the back and get all excitement of a motorcycle without having to buy one myself. Also: I won't have to stress about being the one to cream us into the sidewalk outside CostCo.

Be sure to wear a flower in your hair

The guy next to me on the Muni (and by "next to", I mean literally sharing skin cells, because holy crap it was crowded) was trying to reassure all of us that being wedged between masses of strangers on a nasty train in a crowded city isn't that bad, because in Japan they use brooms to actually push people into every little crevice between the walls of flesh on their trains. I don't know about that...but I DID find this, which is equally disaster/lawsuit-waiting-to-happen:


Also, while clutching my sides and eating cereal and watching this (Happy Mother's Day!) with Milo while waiting for Nolan, at one point we heard this howling and thundering outside. After ascertaining that the wind almost blew our house down, Milo and I just stopped and looked at each other, and I'm fairly certain that our souls connected on a profound level in that moment, which was, "what the HELL is wrong with the weather here." Next time I feel like he and I are sharing thoughts, I will find that chick from Freaky Friday and ask her if she has any fortune cookies left, and how much are they please, because I would LOVE to be Milo for a day.

Christmas must be on its way

As much as I adore my husband, sometimes I really enjoy my time alone. Like, not even alone, but I mean...living alone. Heh. Like last night for example? He was at the hospital since yesterday morning until 8am this morning, and so I stayed at the gym as long as I wanted, I took a long shower, I walked around looking frumpy, I ate a bowl of cereal for dinner at 8:30pm, and then I watched The Office in bed until I could no longer keep my eyes open. I'm a very independent person, and I am starting to think that is going to come in handy being a doctor's wife. On the other hand, who wouldn't miss coming home to this:

Instead, I came home to an overexcited Milo, who alternated between jabbing his filthy paw into my cereal and chewing on an electric socket.

You know, San Francisco never ceases to amaze me. I have seen all manner of things here, and it just never gets old. I mean the homeless woman peeing on a mailbox RIGHT outside of a Starbucks gets old, but sometimes I see things that are just...bizarre. Like:

I stop for a second, pull out the iPhone to take a picture, and then keep walking to catch my Muni to work. Because why wouldn't I have expected to see snow on a curb by the beach this morning.

froth.

Sometimes I run out of things to do with my days and then I am asleep in bed, thinking about all the things I could have blogged about, and make a mental note to mention them the next day. Then that does't work either, because, sweet mercy, I have been swamped. Today? Of COURSE I have no idea what I was thinking of writing before because that's how my brain works. My attention span is the size of a peanut.

My Twilight obsession has been running rampant again. It's like a good disease; dies down for a bit, but then the slightest irritation sets it ablaze again. Hhhh. Good thing Nolan has been running long shifts at the hospital, because just last night he was telling me that he loves having a thoughtful wife who spoils him, and I'm fairly sure he would recant if he saw me ditching him to froth at the mouth over this addiction...again. Only what, less than a year ago, he and a friend were telling friends that they wanted their wives back! and to please burn all Twilight books if you don't want to lose a loved one for a few months. That time, I didn't surface for at least a month. This time I'm thinking it will be quicker...until the next trailer comes out.

nonstop

Whew...new post tomorrow, my lovelies...I promise!

unprofessional:

I don't think I would have been considered for this job if this had been stuck on my wrist during the interview:

Thank God that I'm safe and sound here, because Nolan just HAD to test out his surgical pen, and it hasn't come off yet. At least I can be thankful that he decided to draw something romantic--there are worse options... <3

I had to sleep on the couch again last night because I was coughing so hard that the bed was shaking...and I wanted to be near the sink so I could spit up my loogies into it at any moment. So this morning, Nolan got up for his shift at 5am, and carried me back to bed so he wouldn't wake me while he was getting ready. He must really love me, to endure that morning breath as my tongue lolled out of my mouth and onto his shoulder and I snored in his arms. Apparently the other night I was sleep-talking too, and told him he was late for his shift, so he jumped up and started getting ready...at 2:30am. I suck when I'm sick.

All that, and I haven't been to the gym in over a week. Mmm, attractive.

Stumbled.

Just because I "stumbled upon" this...

I Saw The Sign

Tonight we have a date with victory as we once again battle the Longs for domination of Catan. Huzzah! Tomorrow, I have a date with my pillow because I am tired of being sick and tired...in general. This morning when I was brushing my teeth, I actually coughed up a booger. Through my mouth. I know, disgusting, right? Yeah well, THAT is a good mental image for you of how I've been feeling as of late.

Today may also be the first day that I haven't received a single text message (yet), and it's making me depressed. Apparently Milo hasn't peed on any books, my dad is no longer wondering what "w00t" means, Nolan hasn't delivered a baby or run into any rednecks, and ylehsa hasn't spilled yogurt all over herself in an overzealous attempt at bringing Edward Cullen into her life. SOB. What is my life coming to. Although...the other day on the Muni, I DID sit next to a homeless woman playing a ukelele and softly singing "I Saw The Sign". A cornucopia, I'm telling you.